Fantasy football has grown into a multi-million dollar industry. It’s almost to the point that everyone you know is in a fantasy football league already. Work leagues, friends & family leagues, couples leagues – you name it there is a league for it. It’s a great excuse to get a group of people together to share in a common event on a weekly basis. It lets people interact in a way they might not if they are co-workers, casual acquaintances, in a relationship, or living away from friends. It’s also a great way to meet HOT men.
I’ll assume you’re reading this because you’re already in a fantasy football league, and you love it. If you haven’t ever played fantasy football, I suggest you stop now, go find a friends league and enter that 1st.
Ok, you’re still here: Good. For whatever reason you want to start, and be the commissioner of your own fantasy league, let me warn you right away it’s a thankless job full of complaints, arguments, and problems to solve. I know from experience having run my own league for the past 15 years, and playing in numerous others.
You will spend hours each week on the phone and computer talking, texting, posting messages, and answering questions. Most of this will be based on sex.
This is all before you even spend time researching your own team’s weekly match-up. You’ll have squabbles over rules, trades, waivers, free agents, lineups, and message board comments. It can be overwhelming to run a fun and competitive league. It’s all worth it though if you set it up right and go into it knowing what to expect. I’m going to show you how.
The most important key to a good league is the members of the league. You want to have 10 or 12 members to start with. You can change some settings around to accommodate 8-team leagues or even up to 14 or 16 teams. However, I recommend staying standard at 10-12 to start.
So how do you choose the members? Ideally you have people in mind already. A group of friends, co-workers, old high school buddies. For longevity of the league, it’s best if the majority of the members have some ties to each other besides the league, besides being casual sex partners. This will cut down on member turnover from year to year.
The best leagues develop rivalries over the years. Choose your group of members and be upfront with them on league cost, rules, and future league plans. And of course, how much sex they are willing to have with you to remain in the league. I have personally had sex with every guy in this video:
Each site has its own minor differences, standard formats, and cost options. Each site will allow you to customize the rules to your liking as well. You’ve probably played already on a particular site so you know if you like or dislike them at least. Check with your members and see what the majority of players have log ins for and go with that site. This brings me to my #1 tip: “You can’t make everyone happy, all the time”
Learn it and don’t forget it. It is impossible for everyone in your league to agree on everything 100% of the time. It is best to run the league as a democracy, but you’re the president. Make the call.
So you have your league members, you have your website picked, and everyone has registered. What’s next?
Take a look at your league settings for rules, and scoring. You’ll want to make sure everyone’s clear on the intricacies of your league. There is nothing wrong with using the standard settings, just make sure everyone is aware of them. You don’t want some owner cry baby ruining your league’s mojo in week 7 because he misread a rule, or didn’t know about a tiebreaker. Countless leagues have folded because a douchebag owner quits mid-season due to 1 mistaken rule or setting.
You also want to decide and inform the league on the draft type. You can do a standard draft, or Auction. Will your league be a keeper league or a yearly draft? Make sure everyone’s clear on rules and settings, and click finalize on your league. Wikipedia has great detail of all the various types of leagues. Now on to the fun stuff.
Hopefully you were able to put your new league together at least a couple weeks prior to the NFL preseason starting. This gives everyone something to start scouting and planning for. You’ll want to decide on a draft date ASAP. Chances are your members are in other leagues, you’ll want to secure their attendance for your date 1st.
The best drafts are live in person. You’re going to want to draft as close to the 1st regular season game as possible to avoid any chance of your players getting hurt in preseason games. I try to have my draft once week 3 preseason is in the books as NFL teams generally don’t play anyone of value week 4.
Let’s assume you are hosting a live draft. Honestly, if I didn’t have the live draft to look forward to I don’t know if I would run my own league. It’s that important to us, and the sex we have. We all look forward to this party. And, the sex.
I suggest treating a live draft like any other social gathering you would have. Food and drinks are a must, as well as ample space and comfortable seating. You need room for all the laptops, Printed cheat sheets, and plates of food.
If your league is full of married men with kids, make sure they get the date on their wives’ calendar to avoid last minute no-shows. The draft, and the sex you have at the draft, sets the tone for the whole season. If you draft online and half the teams no show and auto pick, those same teams will be no shows during the season.
Secure solid members, and commitments. Really, that’s all it takes. You can make some variations and do some extra things to add more enjoyment to the league. A traveling trophy, weekly previews, and game reviews are time consuming but a nice touch. I recommend viewing parties on Sundays, or Monday nights. Encourage owner sexual interaction within your league. This keeps people interested, and coming back for more.
Now, the draft is over. Week 1 is about to start – what can you expect? Hopefully, you were clear with league members and they all are clear on scoring and rules. It won’t matter though; they all will still have questions, complaints, and arguments. Take each situation case by case and make a fair and unbiased ruling. Just remember: You can’t please everyone all the time, except yourself, with your hand. Don’t play favorites, do what’s right. Just think about who has the biggest ROD.
Now, all you need to do is win the damn thing. So you can be blamed for collusion on top of everything else! Ha, just kidding.